Happiness

“What is happiness? How to get happiness? ”

I remember having asked this question to one of my Swamijis during my PUC days. He had said that the question was as old as the Mankind itself. The question has appealed to many thinkers worldwide. Different thinkers have interpreted it at different times, in different ways. But amongst such myriad thoughts, they share a common one – True happiness lies in realizing God.

Thus, with the birth of religions, different paths have been laid down to realize God and hence attain Happiness. Hinduism has given us four paths – Jnana yoga, Bhakti yoga, Karma yoga and Raja yoga. And the Upanishads declare, “Anandam Brahmeti” - Happiness is God. Whatever it is, I would like to share some of my practical experiences in this regard.

I remember what my Swamiji had finally answered. “Desirelessness leads to Happiness.” On a casual approach, one can say, it’s just the opposite of what Buddha had said. But the interpretation is different. Let us say, while walking on a road I see an ice-cream parlour. A desire generates in me to eat an ice-cream. I cannot be happy at this point. But if I step in and eat an ice-cream or two, I will be happy. It is because, desire to eat an ice-cream no longer exists.

This made me to imagine a world where there are no desires. And to my surprise I did not find any happiness. I was studying, but there was no desire to score well. I was working, but there was no desire for the fruit. There was no quality in my work and so there was no happiness. I found out that desire was the motivation behind my work.

Quite paradoxical, isn’t it? At one point of time I said desirelessness leads to happiness. And now I say desire leads to. Rather life’s like that – a paradox. Those of us, who have learnt elementary physics, will be familiar with an entity called Friction. Desire too, is like friction, a necessary evil.

I think I am clear, why desire is necessary. Let me tell you why it is an evil. The Sankhyayoga of the Bhagavadgita explains us better.

Dhyaayato vishayaan pumsah sangasteshoopajaayate
Sangaat sanjaayate kaamah kaamaat krodhobhijaayate
Krodhaadbhavati sammohah sammohaat smrutivibhramah
Smrutirbhramshaad buddhinaasho buddhinaashaat pranashyati

“When we try to acquire any worldly object, we develop an attachment towards them. Attachment leads to desire and desire leads to anger. Anger results in delusion and delusion causes loss of memory. Loss of memory halts the intellect and when intellect fails, his personality fades out.”

So, now the question arises, how to strike this perfect balance between desire and desirelessness. Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa gave us a beautiful fable to illustrate this. In our lives, we should be like a maidservant in the house of a rich man. She loves his children very much and takes care of them very much. But she never develops any desire for them because, deep in her heart, she knows that they are not her children. We too, can stay close with the worldly things and yet be detached, if only we can understand that, in reality, we own nothing!

It needs a lot of practice to get this detachment. The best is to offer it to God, said a learned speaker whom I happened to listen to, a few years ago. He illustrated this by quoting the example of an athlete, who said that the gold medal he won, truly belonged to everyone present there. He could not have won it, if the organisers were not to organise the event. He could not have won it, if it were not for the umpires and linesmen who did their duty. He could not have won it, if there were no competitors and spectators. Therefore, everyone deserved it and so he offered it to the almighty God. Is it not true, in every walk of our lives?

If this example helps us to deal with successes, the following story from the Panchatantra helps us deal with failures. After all, that’s what life is all about – a bundle of successes and failures. The story revolves round a poor weaver, who did not succeed even though he worked hard. So, he decides to go to a city to try his luck. His wife is of the opinion that, if at all it was his fate to become rich; he should have grown richer in the very village he resided, like other rich weavers. The weaver justifies his decision by saying:

Udyoginam purushasimhamupyti laksmeeh
Daivena deyamiti kaapurushaa vadanti
Daivam nihatya kuru pourushamaatmashaktyaa
Yatne krute yadi na siddhyati kotra doshah

“Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, adores him who is brave and hard-working. Wealth is a god’s boon, says a man who is lazy. Set aside the fate and try hard. What’s wrong in giving it a try, even if you don’t succeed inspite of the best of the efforts?”

The weaver starts doing well in the city. But on his way back, he gets robbed. He realizes that he did not deserve the richness. But, instead of cursing his bad luck, he continues to be happy for having tried it. Because, happiness lies in hard work, not in the results.

When I scored 100 out of 100 in mathematics, the hard work behind it gave me more happiness than the results. My teacher used to say that, even without hard work, one can score 100% by malpractice. But that gives him more guilt than happiness.

When I participated in the instrumental music competition at the University level, I knew I wasn’t a contender for any prize. And I did not get one. But I found happiness in the way of my struggle to practise and perform better. Success and failure are for others. What counts for the self, is contentment.

To conclude, I believe that, one can obtain knowledge, detachment, desirelessness and thus happiness, by being in the company of good friends, teachers, elders and good books. And, I have tried to answer this age old question, in my own way. Its like, as the great poet Kalidasa says, trying to cross a mighty ocean in a small boat of our intellect. I would be happy, even if it fails to travel any distance!